His grandfather's house in Esure.
When this house was commissioned in 1955 it was a master piece of art, landmark and status symbol of the owner.
It announced the owner as a very wealthy man in the community.
It is a 12-room affair sitting on about 4plots of land.
When my grandfather moved into the house, he took two rooms above as his parlour and bedroom, gave a room to each of his three wives and ensured that they all lived downstairs. The balance of the four rooms upstairs were taken by his children whom he ensured didn't cohabit with their mothers.
He gave the balance of the three rooms downstairs to relatives whose children lived upstairs with his own children.
By ensuring the children lived with him upstairs he minimized the influence of their mothers on them and engendered childhood bonding amongst all of them.
It was very common to discover that amongst the sibblings there was much greater unity between children of different mothers than those of same mothers.
Our fathers grew up with that love amongst themselves and their cousins with whom they all lived.
The house was totally filled up. Everybody lived in and around Esure.
That is the way it was and I met a great deal of that arrangement.
Today, there is just a SOLE OCCUPANT in this house, my 86-year old uncle. He lives there all by himself!
All the children are scattered all over the cities taking their mother with them,leaving the poor old man with a visiting house help.
I was talking with him just this morning.
I told him: " Baba, do you know that your own Grandfather, Pa Sunmola Babaegbe didn't live this way?. When he was about in his late 70s the man took a young wife to make his number 6. By the time he died at age 94, he had children who were just toddlers. At every point in his life he had a wife and children all hovering around him!"
That was SENSE!
I went on to remind him: " Your own father, Imam Yoonus Adetayo, though he had three wives, in his old age he was practically alone. One of the wives died before him, the other, my own grandmother was almost permanently living with her children and the last wife was just about doing the same thing."
My grandfather lived till 90years of age but he himself was almost always alone in this house save for one of his daughters who on account of some circumstances lived in the house with him.
That daughter was his saving grace otherwise he could jolly well have died a lonely man!
What kind of rubbish is that?
You can then imagine what will happen to men of my generation, today's born-again lovers of monogamy.
I began to recall memories of my childhood in this house.
Very nostalgic!!!
Didn't we have great fun here as children in those days???
The Muslim festival of Eid-el-kabir was something every man, woman and child looked forward to in those days for the people of Esure who were then predominantly Muslims.
In those days, the Eid-El-Kabir [ ILÉYÉ ] was the signal for all family members from far and near to gather with fellow kinsmen in Esure.
People came home from as far away as Europe and America. Those four or five days were days you didn't want to miss.
Even Christian members of the family gathered. You were sure to meet as many people as you had wanted to meet.
It was basically the same for Christmas too especially in those quarters with predominant christian population.
It was the opportunity of BONDING for family members. It was the opportunity for family members to reach out and seek one form of HELP or the other from their kinsmen.
My grandfather's house could have on a good more than 100 souls camped in it. People slept where they found space. Men go to other houses less occupied to find spaces to sleep.
It was such discomfort that was fun that you joyously lived through and you never thought of it as a discomfort
FOOD was the least of the problem. It was NEVER in consideration. We ate excessively, every single person.
1. Our MOTHERS, aunties and older sisters did ALL THE COOKING for that mass of population coming into and going out of this house. They COOKED ROUND THE CLOCK. Men brought their FIANCEES to this gathering and together the FIANCEES BONDED with the women of the family. In the course of these activities the incoming wives were already under the microscope long before they became wives. The family got to know them and they do got to know the family!!!
We have stopped all that.
TODAY, we engage women from outside to do the catering for us. The women, girls, fiancees and everyone stayed in-doors waiting to be served.
BONDING LOST.
2. The MEN of the family, our fathers, uncles and older brothers, took care of the Ileya rams. My grandfather particularly liked the rams to be skinned. It was such an herculean task but who dared to complain? The skins he used as praying mats.
The men did the job efficiently while they began to discuss many history stories. Those were the opportunities for us children to hear many of the stories that I talk abou
